The irony of the situation has not been lost on me. I’m sitting in a hotel room across from the hospital where, tomorrow morning, my gastroenterologist will have her way with my bowels. And I’m trying to write about a distant cousin whose claim to culinary fame was a concoction known as the “Cheese Zombie”. A school lunch favorite of students of Yakima, Washington’s public schools, it appeared on the menu only once every month — I suspect with good reason. Imagine buttery pastry wrapped around layers and layers of melted cheese baked to golden perfection. Just thinking about it makes my irritable bowel angry. As I choke down a concoction that tastes like lemon lighter fluid every ten minutes in preparation for tomorrow’s festivities, I cannot help but wonder if even it would be powerful enough to bring a “Cheese Zombie” back from the dead.

Dorothy Lucille (Pelley) Finch, my 6th cousin, 1x removed, is credited with the recipe’s invention. According to her obituary, Dorothy served on the  national legislative committee of the American School Food Service Association. As a lobbyist, she’s described as the “architect” behind the national school breakfast program legislation and was quoted as having said: “At noon there are no rich kids or poor kids — there are only hungry children and you can’t teach a hungry child.”

Kenfolk: Utlauts
Relation: 6th cousin, 1x removed
Common ancestors: Dorothy’s 5th great grandparents, Anthony and Sarah (Cole) Chamness, are my 6th great grandparents

Reference:
https://findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=90977754